Monday, March 14, 2011

Shameful graffiti seen in restroom on UW campus

Below I have documented--with remorse and shame--what I was forced to see while a captive of biological necessity in a stall in a men's restroom on the campus of the University of Washington.


- two drawings of penises urinating (or ejaculating--hard to make out clearly) next to one of which was written: "UDICK" [a clumsy pun on "U-DUB"?]

- a drawing of a guy smoking a joint

- the word "México" inside a "forbidden" sign



"The world sucks"

"USA" [written--apparently by a real patriot--in big letters with stars in them]

"They get the dollar,
I get the dime,
That's why I shit,
On my company's time."

"Smoke weed all day everyday!"

"But do you need to pay tuition?" [with an arrow drawn to the previous message]

"Do a barrel roll"

"Wilco is a very, very good band"

"Neggers" [or: "Naggers" (disgracefully illegible)]

"Oh my god, my shit is fat,
When I said hi,
It said hey right back."

Below I have recorded a chain of graffiti messages that refer one to the other in sequence, but which were arranged visually in a way I cannot recreate using only a text editor.

1. "Weed makes me NOT poop"

2. "therefore potheads
in addition to being grafittists are also
full of shit" [with an arrow drawn to #1]

3. "Hypocritical" [with an arrow drawn to #2]

4. "Coffee makes me poop
Tobacco makes me poop"

5. "on a related note,
drinking coffee makes
my pee smell like
coffee" [with an arrow drawn to #4, specifically the sentence: "Coffee makes me poop"]

6. "This is very true. Actually the reason
why I'm pooping right now." [with an arrow drawn to #4, specifically the word "tobacco"]

7. "FACT" [with an arrow drawn to #4, specifically the word "tobacco"]

8. "(also) pretentious" [with an arrow coming from #7 and drawn to #2]

9. "Smoke salvia"

Numbers 7 through 9 were collectively referenced by an inclusive circle cum arrow to #2.

But by far the most egregious--and freshest--message was:

"Attention grafittists!
You are quoted here:"


Sometime between March 14 and April 1, the graffiti described here was erased, leaving only this now invaluable record for future historians and sociologists...

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